Tatta's for the posse

And I thought I was full of shite.

Grammarians- unite! and take over!

I, much like Mrs. Kitty Farmer- Donnie Darko's teacher- find myself at a peculiar junction which exiguious other members of this particular blog may lay claim. The intersection of which I speak is that of Browne Towne founder and co-founder of the blog of the same name. While this position does not imbue me with any special powers (Browne Towne Art. 3 "... shall be [egalitarian] in word and deed..") I shan't venture to say that I lack the foresight Browne Towne desires, nay - needs! Modesty aside, I penned the original Port Browne Towne Statement (not the compromised second draft...); delivered our fledgling six-pac from the depths of a bogus civil war, purged RE of spies, traitors (the treacherous t.hylto), dissidents and the opposition; successfully brokered alliances with our neighbors; and victoriously seized and consolidated power to become the first Browne Towne Comptroller . If the instances cited aren't indisputably prescient, then tarnish my legacy, for no guidance could possibly attain loftier standards! Browne Towne! Lend me your ears and I shall give you my heart!
Alas, the famed inelocution of the colored community, in the litany of the white man, has persistently haunted us. How wrong indeed are those perceptions! Base, dark hue, but bright we be! How ill I become, you can imagine, to see members of our own ranks perpetuating this myth. Fie! Twenty anus-kisses shall grace the lips of the offending parties.
I beseech thee and thine own to curb your appetites for the vulgar and the typo. Failing this, I will call for a censure of those who persist, like a plague of damn'd sperm-locusts, to make good use of the spell check function and rudimentary- not to mention courteous- grammar.
Shame on a nigga.

Boogie Woogie!

Boogie Woogie! Brownies! It's the Latin Heat, In the flesh! Browwwwne Towwwwwwwne, Asssssssemmmmbbbblllllllle!

What cu' talkin' bout, Walker?

It's good to know that the esteemed BIGBIGLOADER can take the punch of my flower power with nary a flinch at the extreme sarcasm implicite in my diction. I can once again sleep well during the day, knowing the dragons of literarcy have been slain and the princess' of the mushroom kingdom are safe once again from the twin evils of the dictionary and thesures. In summation, eat a dick.

Brandon is inbound

Ok, everyone, I've invited Brandon to the blog. This means that we aught to be on our best behavoir. We know how easily frightened he can be. Can you remember all the times when, at work, Brandon would walk into a room and immediately sense a sudden movement? He would let out a ear-bloodying yell and then dart out. What motivation is there for the uninitiated to go through the sign in process only to be part of David Hasselhoff's junk? Here is, hopefully, a more inviting picture. Google image search is pretty much the new god.

Now imagine if it moved

Something I found a little while back which has caused endless homoerotic paralaysis. I recommend downloading season 1 or 2 of the knightrider tv series and playing it at the same time for full effect.

WOLVERINES!!!

Alright. This flame war has to stop. I cant take this overwhelming division in the ranks of brownetown anymore. This is tearing us apart. If I have to step up and qualify the preceding nights events and be the bigger man, I will.

I left an open general invite for hanging out, possibly for the purpose of playing pool with some like minded souls' of my aquantiance. Hours pass with neither a conformation or denouncement of my invite offer. Then, after adjuorning to my bedcamber for some well earned rest after an intense and overwhelming day of saving the goddamn universe from itself, I am assualted and libeled by the might of browntowne. I must say, I am astounded at the out right audacity of a couple of members rudeness when their seinfieldin pop-in tactics failed to illict my wakeing up from deep, restful slumber. The attempt was half assed, I say. There was no pounding on my windows, or loud screaming or thuding rocks. I live on the first floor of an apartment building that could be, and has, been broken into by a group of inept spider monkeys. A couple of phone calls and buzzings does not a "lets go" make.

I, Samson, call for the end of these undeserved and unprovoked acqusations.

VIVA LA BROWNTOWNE

Real big let down

I have to say, to get on a more serious tangent, Samson really let down brown town tonight. He managed to invite everyone to pooling near his apartment and then didn't even show up, even after repeated buzzing. Pretty ridiculous. Where will he be next time? Who can say?

All we ever wanted was everything.

Money.
Bitches.
Fame.

The medium is the message

Come my fellow borontownites. Shed the skin of the grand deceivers and walk fresh upon the earth of our creation. Never again shall the yoke of oppression prevent the holy glow from engulfing the flesh of the true believers. Bring the might of our collective slack to an epic totallity of form that the gods of mirth and wonder never dared dream in their sweetest, fullest opiant haze. Mighty is the power of the unified brown. Worlds will shatter under the grand sexing of the earth by the best, the brightest, the brownest.

Welcome to browne towne.

Now step the fuck back.

This is the official blog of browne towne, a Seattle Community for the arts, and the entertainments. Please refrain from being a real fucking asshole.