A short, short story

This is a short short story I wrote today for absoulutly no reason. I wrote it in 2nd person for some reason. I still don't know why. Scotty and I dumpstered a working Snes a week ago and Ive been playing super mario world non-stop.Updates about my life and times will come sortly. For now, here is the story:

This, my friends, is the story of how one mans madness changed the world as we knew it.

His name was Walter Stone and he was an oddball. As a youth his obsession with Super Mario World was of such magnitude that he was committed for a sort time to Bellvue mental hospital to help curb his urge to play. As he sat in group with his friend's Napoleon and Mr. Lincoln, he would ponder the wonder that was Mario. The most tenacious of plumbers, stranded in a psychotropic world of mushrooms and turtles, dinosaurs and fire flowers... a man among men. A man of little words and overwhelming action. Sitting there in group, Walter came to a conclusion. He would dedicate his life to bringing Mario's world into his own.

Bellvue was easy. Just a little white lie here and there and he was free. Walter devoted himself to the study of chemistry and genetics, shunning all other pursuits. His parents were overjoyed at his sudden interest in school, thinking he was finally on the right track. Little did they know how right they were.

The years past with relative calm. A few minor wars and a few minor presidents. Walter , now Dr Stone, waged his battle forward, making ever so small strides in the right direction. He worked a non-eventful job at Phizer, hoarding the little money he had to spend on his true interests in his garage lab. This lab was the only outright example of his madness. The walls were printed with massive blowups of Mario's head, ala Warhol's Campbell soup can. The tabletops were littered with life size paper-mache sculptures of princess bell and that often neglected brother of Mario , Luigi. These totems only helped to further his obsessive drive. He developed a Shitakie mushroom triggered a genetic irregularity in mice which caused them to grow hideously large. Sadly, the giganticness also caused a mad rage and a dramatically shortened life span. Walter had no choice but to suspend that line of research. That battle lost, he moved on. Fire flowers were out of the question, as all of the concoctions he mixed simply killed the mice he applied them to. Oddly, his most promising line of research was also the most distasteful to him. That of the balloon power up, that most disappointing offering.

It was a late night in the garage. The windows were pattering with a violent rain. Stone was dissecting one of his mushroom failures when he came open an interesting abnormality with the mouse's stomach. The stomach was unusually mailable, capable of being stretched fifteen times more than the normal level. It was also amazingly strong, which Walter discovered by stretching out the stomach on a nearby trash can and drumming out the Mario bros intro song. His mad twittering was the first echo of his genius to sound out into the world he changed so completely.

Walter spend the next 7 years isolating his method of giganticness to extend only to the stomach. Upon achieving a success rate of ninety-nine percent he took the final pivotal step. He injected himself. His body was overcome with a violent madness, the overwhelming taste of blue filling his mouth. He collapsed to the floor, twitching with the best of them. Fourteen hours later, he awoke with a ravenous hunger. Shaking uncontrollable, he stumbled into his kitchen. Nuking a breakfast burrito he ate with out reserve. It was to no avail. The hunger was immense. Dispensing with cooking, he ate the entire package of frozen burritos. Sated for the moment, he sat down on his couch for a refreshing thousandth run though Forest Illusions number one. Thats when it happened. His stomach distended, giving him a grotesque appearance. And then, and then, he started to float. To float! To float! Grasping his way to the door via chairs and the hat rack, he opened the door and went soaring into the wide open world, laughing uproariously all he while.

And that my friends, is how Dr. Walter Stone killed the car and saved the world from the that beast of all beast, petroleum. Now if you will excuse me gentleman, I have to go get a burrito from that truck over there. I have a dental appointment I don't want to miss.

Copyright 2006 Sam Sch.